Advocate Mom

531717_10200356730857954_1589468237_nWho Am I?

I am an extended breastfeeding, attachment parenting, about to be a homeschool mother in a world that would rather we put the baby away and get back to work.  I am here to tell you – it’s OKAY to want to be a good mother, an attentive mother, a mother who puts her kids first.

Some things I’m not cool with:

Agism.  Meaning, I don’t think my child should just automatically cow-tow to whatever you want because you are a grown up.  That means I don’t think my child should be denied their own comfortability to cater to yours, just because you were born before them.  That means I refuse to speak to or treat my children in a way that would be considered abusive if I were to act that way toward an adult.

Breastfeeding shame.  I am an advocate for the normalization of breastfeeding.  That means I am against anything and anyone that encourages an incorrect, snarky, sarcastic or demeaning perspective of breastfeeding whether it be in public or private.  I do what I can to bring awareness of the many physical and psychological benefits of extended breastfeeding.  Doing my part to inspire mamas to just keep going a little while longer and to stand up for what they know baby needs, both physically and emotionally is something I live by.  I currently have a five year old and three year old who both continue to find nourishment, immunity support, comfort and safety at my breast and I am not even a little bit ashamed of it!

“Natural” bashers.  I cannot stand when people laugh at those who choose alternative processes to manage their households and I do everything I can to support those efforts.  I encourage using alternative medicine & essential oils, natural cleaning methods and ancient healing techniques.  I am a cheerleader for every mama’s health and fitness goals. We MUST care for ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually if we ever hope to be available for our children and the more naturally we can accomplish this, the better.  I understand not everyone has time or access to more natural options.  My philosophy has always been, do what you can, when you can and be proud of it.

Selfishness in Parenting.  One thing you should know up front; I do not claim to be unbiased or accepting of everyone’s choices.  Sometimes we make the wrong choice and I may ask that we own up to that.  This is not a page to have someone pat your head when you’ve made a bad decision so you don’t feel bad about yourself.  I don’t believe in justifying your way out of guilt for being selfish at the expense of your child.  If you’re looking for someone to hug you and tell you that your selfish choices are okay and that it’s your right to make them, you’ve come to the wrong place.  I understand that everyone does this parenting thing differently, but my goal is and always will be to put BABY first because baby is the only one in the equation who does not get a choice.

We face so many adversaries as parents; our own self-doubt, the judgement of others, outdated medical advice, “tradition”, and in facing all those enemies to our parenting relationships, we need to know we are not alone.  This community of mamas, this tribe of women has been summoned to be the strength in numbers we all need.

What I believe

I believe our role as mothers is to do everything we can to aid our younglings in their development.  From eating, sleeping, education, behavior development and to do whatever is best, no matter how inconvenient or life-changing it may be and anything less, is less than they deserve.

I believe our ability to do our job as parents well and thoroughly is vital to the success of our world.  Parenting is not a hobby, a “job” or a right.  We created LIFE – a living, breathing human who will one day go out into the world and build a new life based on the foundation we create for them.  Everything we do, from the moment those cells divide, is entirely our responsibility and our great privilege until they are completely capable of doing it all for themselves.

I believe all babies, no matter how old, are important, worth saving, worth protecting. That means I do not agree with abortion.  I believe science has already proven that life begins at conception and those who are denying this, are denying reality for their own selfishness, not because it is not true.

I believe a mother is always a mother.  If you have lost a baby, a pregnancy, a child, you are STILL and always will be a mother.  That is your honor, your right and you deserve that respect.

I believe we all have something to learn and something to teach.  I welcome new ideas and I am always open to changing my mind.  If we cannot change, we cannot grow.  I encourage all mamas to teach others what they have learned because every mama sees the world differently.

I believe in drawing lines in the sand and standing by your ethics.  I believe strong opinions are sometimes our only way of showing that power to control our environment, so I encourage you to shout your truth, even if yours is different from mine. I am NOT someone that needs to be agreed with and I welcome challenging (respectful) arguments.