Passing The “Mom Test”

I promised myself I wasn’t going to get into this, but there is something I think you should consider and so far, I’m not seeing ANYone addressing this, specific issue.  I am seeing way too many conservative parents headed down this path and I just don’t think everyone is considering all the factors and ramifications.  There is an epidemic of acceptable hate and we must take measures to stop it before it sweeps across our entire nation.

We teach our children a vast array of core beliefs.  Principles that are reenforced by our daycare systems, our grandmothers, our public schools and our churches, regardless of so many varied spiritual and cultural beliefs in this nation.  These basic rules of childhood learning transcend religion because they are all based on social justice, compassion and simply doing the right thing for our fellow humans.  Here are several examples of what I mean;
Don’t cheat.
Don’t steal.
Don’t lie.
Don’t manipulate others.
Be compassionate to all people.
Try to see things through other’s eyes.
Lead by example.
Don’t hate.
Tell the truth, even if it hurts you or gets you in trouble.
Act honorably.
Don’t be a sore loser or a mean winner.
Don’t judge people – ever- but especially based on what they look like or where they come from.
Speak softly and consider your words, especially when you are upset.
Be respectful of others and the rules of their homes.
Play with others, especially those who have no one else to play with.
Be generous even if you have nothing to give but your time and a kind word.
Share with those around you for the sake of making them smile; not to get something in return.
Take turns and wait patiently.
Praise other’s successes and encourage them when they fail.
Be respectful of others and their limitations.
Control your emotions.
It’s okay to be sad or in a bad mood, but it is NOT okay to treat others poorly because of it.
Don’t rudely point out the faults of people around you.
Live by your morals, even if you are the only one who does.
Don’t settle, don’t compromise yourself and don’t bend to manipulation.
Don’t use guilt as a tool to get your way.
Help people who can’t do the things you take for granted.
Don’t give in to the guilt of others.
True magic lies in the act of doing good for others.
Be a champion for justice, not a champion for a trophy.
Take care of the planet.
Think beyond yourself when you consider the results of your actions.
Okay, so can we just get real for a second here?  It took me less than a minute to write this list.
Being a decent person is not complicated.  If you are American and over 20, there is a greater than 90% chance you learned many of those lessons from Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street before you were even six years old.  So then… what’s the hang up here, people? Why is there a frontrunner for our nation’s presidency who embodies the exact opposite of these fundamental truths?

Plain and simple; Donald Trump and his wife are not positive role models for our children.  Neither of them are.  They are in fact, everything I teach my children NOT to be and I encourage every mother in this nation to consider her vote carefully as I explain what my personal concerns are.

I cannot support someone who is running his candidacy like a schoolyard bully, calling names, demeaning others, yelling profanity, making sexual jokes and talking about the size of his penis at a family-oriented event where children are present, then look my children in the eye and tell them NOT to do those things.  In fact, it shocks me to see so many conservatives in favor of him as our nation’s spokesperson.  Sure, he’s a “self-made” business man who loves America and his wife is a successful, entrepreneurial go-getting career woman, but let me ask you a genuine question; do they display values you want your children to emulate?  When your daughter gets ready for a school dance, do you want your first lady’s evening wear to be her inspiration?  If you are unsure, go do an image search online and then tell me if you’re cool with that.

If he becomes elected, not only will this couple’s behaviors become far more common and accepted, but the behaviors of his supporters will gain acceptance, as well.  If we support this behavior by rewarding it with the presidency, those behaviors trickling down to our children is inevitable, so please- ask yourself; Is he a role model your faith and/or fundamental values can support?  How will you justify upholding values of humility, honesty, compassion, empathy and modesty in your home if you vote for someone who does not exemplify those same qualities?

Can you tell me that you will happily tell your children and grandchildren that you supported their future by electing this man as our nation’s representative?  Do you truly believe a crude and angry casino and real estate mogul with his half naked trophy wife are positive role models and fair representations of who we are in America?  Do you really want THEM as spokespeople for our needs before the world community?  Does their dynamic and personal value set represent YOUR home?

I’m asking all mothers who are voters in this nation to consider your votes carefully.  What lessons do we teach our children by supporting his violence, looking past his anger, pretending the blame and racism his candidacy has inspired doesn’t matter?

You cannot tell your child not to bully and then vote for someone who openly puts others down, shames them, belittles them and cuts them down based on race, gender, height and intelligence to represent us as a nation.

You cannot teach your child to be kind and compassionate toward others then vote for someone who does neither.

You cannot teach your child to avoid the kids who are mean to others and to do whatever it takes to include others when our nation’s leader refuses to do the same.

You wouldn’t allow your child to play with someone who undermines your parenting.  Don’t elect someone who will spend every day in office doing exactly that.

If a child or someone’s family does not pass “the mom test” you don’t allow your kids to play with them, right?  Trump does not pass the mom test and should not be elected.  Period.

Another issue for me personally; based on his previous actions and behavior it stands to reason he is against breastfeeding in public, pumping at work and maternity leave.  As an advocate for breastfeeding mothers and for children’s rights, that alone is enough to cross him off my list.  We have done far too much work in our nation to build up the confidence and education levels of mothers to help them understand and give them their rightful options with breastfeeding whether they choose to work or stay home.  To elect a president who undermines those needs and outright thinks it’s “disgusting” has no place as my president.

Many Christian-based faiths seem to be supporting him and this baffles me.  The Bible teaches that if you are blessed with wealth, you should do something with it that glorifies God.  That it’s against God to use your fortune to benefit only yourself and your kin.  Trump has only used his fortune to benefit himself.  He hoards that fortune like a dragon on a mountaintop, a fortune made through an industry which, at least in part, perpetuates sin in our nation.  Casinos, alcohol, reality television, to name a few.  He dodged the draft and then had the audacity to claim he “experienced more” than those who served because he went to a military prep school.  If that does not offend every living veteran I don’t know what would.

After reading about his first two marriages, it stands clear to me that he has disrespected the covenant of marriage two times. Currently, he has a brilliant wife half his age that appears naked (or more than partially so) in 70 of the first 100 images on Google image search. Though he would deny it, he has only changed his stance on abortion in order to gain support from republican candidates when before he was a vocal supporter of it.  Recently, he has even back-pedaled on this topic to no longer support or condone abortion, but has stated he will leave it alone and let the current laws remain as they are. Beyond that, he has enticed frustrated Americans with a notion of a wall and has developed a detailed proposal explaining how he will completely bass the buck of responsibility of this wall onto another nation.  He encourages violence at his rallies and always responds to criticism with demeaning, reactionary and down right mean comments about how the other individuals were far more terrible than he.

Further to this point, he rarely takes responsibility for those moments, or any negative behavior for that matter, that I have seen thus far.  He acts like that child bully or pre-teen sibling who hits someone then states he is blameless because he didn’t START the the fight.  Do you want your children to see that behavior in our president?  This reactionary bullying that justifies violence because, well, “he started it!” is nothing I want in a friend, a leader, my children or a representative of our nation.

He’s also consistently hypocritical.  One way this is the case, is his public venom for companies who outsource instead of hiring Americans in America to make American products.  He screams at the top of his lungs that he will demand these companies return to the United States.  He points out how they are horrible people and traitors to our nation for daring to support other nations instead of their own.  This speech is inspiring for those families who have lost their jobs to outsourcing.  I understand that for these families, his words come as comfort to show that someone is listening.  It shows someone knows how hard it has been and how angry and violated they feel for losing their livelihood to the all-mighty dollar.  It gives a very powerful voice to their pain and frustration, but there is a reality under this fervor that Americans MUST realize:

Trump has his own brand of merchandise made exclusively in Mexico, as well as China.  He criticizes and singles out specific companies such as Ford and Apple for doing exactly what he does.  To date, it does not appear that any actions have been taken in his own industry to change this, yet he demonizes these manufacturers for doing the same.  We cannot support someone who is himself doing all that he condemns in others.

Trump’s family fortune was built on making money from those in need.  He talks down to those who are on public assistance, yet, without that same class of individual, his family would not have made millions.  He talks about the travesty of the loss of local business and shames companies for using resources from other nations before buying the ones here… it’s a great tactic in order to get Americans angry at the losses we have suffered financially and get their vote – yet his own father helped create the modern “super market” industry – the largest reason for the decrease in at-home farming and small town markets in this nation.  How many family markets and farms did his family put out of work?  He avoided paying his debts repeatedly by filing  bankruptcy, so all the thing he says about the leaches on public assistance – you should be aware that he is one of those and the only thing keeping him away from collecting a welfare check is he started with more money in the bank than the rest of us.

American workers please hear this; He is playing you.  He pretends to understand, to sympathize… to relate… but he is not one of you.  He was raised with money and built an empire on an existing empire and has never been one of you.  Ever.  He cannot relate to your struggle and only wants to stir the pot of loss and anger to get you to follow him.  He talks about having to work hard for his dreams, for his businesses… He boasts of his humble beginning, being given a “small loan” of one million dollars from his father to begin a business venture.  He will never truly know what it is to live dirt poor because someone with higher education came in and took your job.  He claims to be angry for you, so angry that he will fight for you but in my opinion, he’s just an angry person in general and he’s trying to make you angry, too.  He’s using your losses and misfortunes for his own ends and pitting everyone against each other to cause chaos, disconnect and fear with he and his leadership the ONLY way to save us.

We teach our children to be kind, to support others, to uplift others, especially those in need, yet this candidate openly calls to cut down those who cannot contribute, kick out those who suffer or need assistance and instead of offering the hand of compassion and charity, he wants to build a wall.  Other nations built walls… China, England, Germany… and they all learned that was a terrible idea.  All it did was destroy unity, increased violence, terrorism and the threat of war.  I understand we need boundaries.  I understand we need strong leadership and to have clear, identified borders but the wall itself and the plan to build it is an insult.  It’s the toilet-paper line made by angry children who share a room.

He displays a consistently cruel and abusive nature toward women.  We have seen this so much we are almost used to it but I beg you, please don’t overlook this vital issue.  Women have worked hard in this nation to become leaders, voices of authority and strength and his misogyny threatens to take us back YEARS by tearing down that progress.  Do you want your sons to feel it is acceptable to talk trash about women because they are unattractive? Do you want your sons to see that it is okay to belittle YOU because you are on your period? I can hear it now… “Ugh, mom lighten up – are you bleeding again?”  This is our future if we accept him.  His behaviors will make these horrifyingly cruel statements a regular part of life.  Do you want boys to talk to your little girls like that?  To shame them about being fat cows and disgusting to look at?  Do you want your little girls growing up believing any of this about themselves?  His behaviors will perpetuate that perspective.  Do you want your children to grow up believing it is acceptable to bully people because they are not speaking English or because they look like they may be on public assistance?  His allowance for such shameful behavior will give allowance for your children to grow up believing this is an acceptable way to behave.  Your vote for this behavior will give allowance to it.

We have already seen the repercussions of his openly hateful attitudes toward different races and faiths in this nation, as issues have popped up all over the country in schools, cities and rallies.  His hate speech is spreading and those who once silently believed it are now open with their blazing hatred because they now have a presidential candidate to back them up.  As we attempt to teach our children to love and respect all, he is standing behind us telling them they don’t have to.  He is like that irresponsible uncle you never visit because he will introduce your kids to porn and give them sips of his beer, telling your child you are just an overprotective, paranoid woman and it’s okay to be bad as long as you don’t get caught.

Trump treads dangerous territory making light of child rape and incest with a single comment that absolutely should recoil every decent American.  He made a “casual” comment about how his daughter was so beautiful and growing up to be such a wonderful woman that if he “weren’t married and if she wasn’t, well, my daughter”, he would probably want to date her.  While this comment shocked the world, he passed it off as a “silly”.  He could not understand why this was so disturbing to people and shrugged it off as an oversensitive reaction from people with no sense of humor. Clearly, he cares so little for common moral behavior that it absolutely does not make sense to him why his comment was inappropriate.  I used to know someone who joked about how, one day, his toddler daughter would be old enough to bring hot school girls home for sleepovers and encourage them to make out.  I’m sure, wherever he is, he loved that justification from Trump, the allowance to think that way about his own child.  This sort of casually abusive statement is just the sort of thing the underground child sex community will latch onto for justification.  “See, he gets it!”

I ask that all Americans, but especially mothers, take a second look at this and vote your conscience rather than out of fear.  Vote for someone who represents the values you wish to instill in your children, someone who supports, as well as displays consistent compassion and concrete plans to move us forward in a way that respects all the people of this nation.  I know I cannot tell anyone who to vote for, but I would hope that most decent Americans would want to avoid voting for someone who only seems to want to win because he HAS to, because he never loses.  This is a game to him.  Don’t play it.

Please do not fall into the trap of, “well, he’s better than Hilary”.  If you fall into that manipulation you are failing not only yourself and your children’s future but all of America.  There are more than two choices on that ballot.  I encourage you to use those other choices to send a clear message to these people and that is this;

We will not vote for criminals and we will also not vote for bullies simply because the other is a bad idea for a whole host of other reasons.  Would you choose bleach in your tea instead of Drain-O?  That’s the choice you make here when you claim you will vote for one bad choice because the other option is also bad.  The alternative is to simply choose coffee instead, right?  Then at least, even if one of these people does win, you can hold firm to your values and know you did not compromise one value for another.

I will not fall victim to manipulation by voting against my conscience, my beliefs and my personal truth.  Do not be so afraid of one evil that you are willing to accept a different kind of evil.  Deny them both.  Stand up for yourself, your beliefs and your country and do what truly WILL make America great.  Vote compassion, not power.  Vote inclusion not separation. Vote in a way that does your faith, your family and your future the justice it deserves, a way you can be truly proud of.  Above all, vote carefully with facts in hand and remember that your children will see the results of your vote one day.  They will know if you’ve made that choice out of fear or truly for the betterment of our nation.

Vote for the candidate that can pass the mom test and remember every vote does count.


“Let’s be honest – Donald Trump is a loser. Count all his failed businesses. See how he kept his father’s empire afloat by cheating people with scams like TrumpUniversity and by using strategic corporate bankruptcy (excuse me, bankruptcies) to skip out on debt. Listen to the experts who’ve concluded he’s so bad at business that he might have more money today if he’d put his entire inheritance into an index fund and just left it alone.

Trump seems to know he’s a loser. His embarrassing insecurities are on parade: petty bullying, attacks on women, cheap racism, and flagrant narcissism. But just because Trump is a loser everywhere else doesn’t mean he’ll lose this election. People have been underestimating his campaign for nearly a year – and it’s time to wake up.

People talk about how “this is the most important election” in our lifetime every four years, and it gets stale. But consider what hangs in the balance. Affordable college. Accountability for Wall Street. Healthcare for millions of Americans. The Supreme Court. Big corporations and billionaires paying their fair share of taxes. Expanded Social Security. Investments in infrastructure and medical research and jobs right here in America. The chance to turn our back on the ugliness of hatred, sexism, racism and xenophobia. The chance to be a better people.

More than anyone we’ve seen before come within reach of the presidency, Donald Trump stands ready to tear apart an America that was built on values like decency, community, and concern for our neighbors. Many of history’s worst authoritarians started out as losers – and Trump is a serious threat. The way I see it, it’s our job to make sure he ends this campaign every bit the loser that he started it.” – Elizabeth Warren

One final though to leave you, a history lesson;

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